I am still here.

As well we all know that life is an amusement part, the roller coaster of the last six months has been one heck of a ride. I don’t want to share too much in one post, so I will just talk about the current loop-de-loop.

A few weeks ago, the hubby and I celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary. A beautiful dinner, great day all together. I ordered him a specialty gift, made with love and worked on for weeks. I was proud, and could not wait for him to see it. Found ,pictures the we each loved, wrote cute little stories and made it into a book. Best part was that on the last page was a picture of THREE positive pregnancy test!

Since the day I gave him the book, it has been a whirl wind of doctors. Had to have it confirmed, had the first ultrasound. Not ten minutes after that, I get a call from a doctor that I have never seen to say that the ’tissue looked suspicious’ and that I would probably miscarry. Went to more appointments, each saying something different. It is hard not to feel anything when you can and are feeling everything. Happy. Sad. Excited. Numb. Heartbroken. Confused. Blank. Watching my sweet Hubby go through this has been the hardest part. I hate seeing him this way, a broken man. I am trying not to feel anything and he is carrying the world on his shoulders.

Monday, I am 12 weeks. On Monday I have a pre-op appointment for a D & C. The doctor that is preforming the procedure is … different. His nurse, however is an angel. I am thankful for such a blessing. Can not say for sure everything that was said today. It was too much for my little head and my breaking heart. I will tell you all about what happens next…


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