I am heartbroken.

This has been a rough week. As you may remember that I just got home from a trip back home. I was a baby sitter for free. It sucked. Finally got home and was getting some good rest when the phone rang bright and early. Husband got up to answer it.

This is where I start crying.

I walk into the dining room and my husband turned to me. ‘My brother died.’ Then he broke down. I have never seen him cry before and I can honestly say that I hope I don’t see it again. His best friend and older brother was gone. How do I fix this? He… WE sat on the bed and cried. I called his sister that lives near us and asked her when she was going and if we could ride with them. A plan is made and I start packing.

Digging through the closet, trying to figure out what to take I stop. Sitting on the floor was Hubby’s birthday present. It was in a week. It was a suit, beautiful dress shirts and ties. I was so excited about it. Not sure what to do. I picked it up and sat down next to him. ‘I think that you might need this.’ He opens the package and started to cry again. He was going to wear his birthday present to his brothers funeral.

At this point I realize what time it is. He has a doctor appointment in an hour. Do you want to go? He says yes, for his follow up. Maybe he can get something for nerves. Doctor is fantastic. Even hugged him before we left. We get the prescriptions and head to meet up with his sister.

Side note that will help with the following story. Once upon a time my oldest sister introduced one of my cousins to a friend of hers. This chick just happened to be several months pregnant. He is gaga for her. Was at the hospital when she has the baby. For the next 18 months they play house. He takes care of the baby and she drives his truck around hooking up with guys. So, she breaks up with him to work things out with her baby daddy. The cousin still has the baby boy all the time. Right after his second birthday, the baby momma elopes with the dad and within a few months, she is pregnant with baby number two. The happy family moved across the state. My cousin is still taking the boy every chance he can. Boy calls him dad and the father by his name. After a few years the happy couple break up and she is back. For the last 20+ years, she has been back and forth. Between men, my cousin was her fall back guy. Can not say booty call because she used him for money, gifts and stuff like that. That is when she is not a lesbian. She has phases.

So, we head to his other sister’s house. Meeting up with her and a few of our nieces to car pool down. Lots of people in the house. Half way meet a bunch of people. My sister in law is adorable. Talk to her boyfriend and I like him. Nice guy. When everyone is there and we are ready to go, I head to the door. On the book shelf next to the front door are pictures. Checking them out, I notice a picture I have seen before. My oldest sister took it. The picture is of those two boys that my cousin has raised. Baby boy is now 20, married and getting ready to have their first baby. His little brother, who has always called me Aunt Tiffany, walks in the door from school. WHOA!¡! MY sister in law is dating my cousins ex’s ex. Let that sink in for a few.

We get on the road and head down. Normally we would stay with the brother, but considering he was no longer with us it seems like we have to stay somewhere else. I called my Grandma and that was where we’ll stay. We are getting close, so my sister in law calls to let their mother know. At this point she tells her to just drop us off at the house, we can sleep in my brother in laws room.

Did I mention that he died in his sleep on his couch?

The look on my husbands face is one that I can not describe. Fear, sadness and horror are a few words that might begin to. Broken will be the best word. Another thing I don’t want to see again. He is my strength and right now he doesn’t seem to have any.

Emotionally I need a break. I will be back soon. The tears have to stop for me to finish the story.

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