today was … eh.

Today COULD have been a good day, hell a great one. But the trauma that I lived through, the damage psycologically and emotionally will require a lot patience and understanding from you, my friends and family. Some therapy may be needed, as everytime I close my eyes I relive that horrible moment. I dread tonight, the night terrors and tears.

I will share with you all, with the hope you will be able to understand. Packing up lunch, we hop in the car and head down the road taking Granny home. Her keys slide of her walker, into the bag of food. Stupidly, I reach into the bag and … BAM! That is when it happened.

:::deep breath:::

Something wasn’t right. I instantly knew. Fear took over, as the unknown was about to come to light. Deep breath as I slowly remove my hand, and that is when I see it. The horror, dark and sticky.

Yes, you may have guessed it. I had stuck my hand into the baked beans. The smell, that DISGUSTING ODOR seeping into my milky white, sensitive skin. Ruined that delicate, pristine complexion in a million ways. The pure pain of being the wrong kind of dirty.

I know what you’re thinking, SHE’S OVER REACTING!! Drama queen. What you may not realize that I HATE BEANS. I have my whole life. Can tell you how many times in my life I have eaten them …. uh … none. Not once. They used to bribe me, try and pay me, cars … you name it. It got easier to tell people I was allergic. THEN I didn’t get any ‘you never had them like cook them’ stories. I would rather lick your shoe then consider ever eating them. ISSUES beyond belief.
Growing up, when it was deep cleaning days, which was about once a month, a bowl of beans that were rotten, moldy and nasty in the fridge that ALWAYS needed to be flushed and the bowl cleaned. 99% of the time I was the lucky white girl to get to do both. It’s lots of fun having a toilet full of that nastiness PUKING into that slug. Good times. Can’t say it helped with this issue. Might of made the blind hatred of them a 1000 times worse. Now, if you noticed, that getting them on me is just about the worse thing ever, ranking next to paper cuts between my toes OR possibly all of my teeth falling out at the exact same time while eating watermelon.
I need to go for now. I can’t lay down, too sick just thinking about the way my life has now changed. I can not … WILL NOT ever be the same.

Please pray for me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s